i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Randomize
