no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Randomize
