What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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