How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
