I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
