He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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