you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
21 NSFW Facts About Famous Celebrities That Will Blow Your Mind
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
These Are 19 of the Most Horrible Strangers People Had to Sit Next to
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.