Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers