I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
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