I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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