i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
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