yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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