I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
This show inspires me to have sex in space
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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