Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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