Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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