I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Randomize
