you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
