You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize