Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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