Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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