I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
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