I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
