They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
