One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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