I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Im part way to drunk.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
