Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
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