Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
