VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
