Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize