When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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