i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
