So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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