should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize