she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
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