Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
