5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
