no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Randomize
