That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
