And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
