Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
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hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
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I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
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