I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
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I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
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Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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