I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.