It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
So many bounce houses so little time
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?