wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
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Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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