I've blown a few things in my day
ugly people sure do ruin things
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Randomize
