I want to make a zoo with you.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
the raccoons are back...
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