well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
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