i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
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You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
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Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
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