Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Randomize
