i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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