so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Randomize
