I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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