it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
