My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Randomize