Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
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