So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
