I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Randomize
