I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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