I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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