grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize